Adele opens up about her battle with postpartum depression

LONDON -- Adele has spoken out at length about her struggle with postpartum depression and the challenges she's faced as a mother.In an interview in Vanity Fair's December issue, Adele opened up about her life since becoming a mother in 2012, when she gave birth to son Angelo.Asked if she wants to have another child, the singer expressed fears that she would experience postpartum depression again if she had another child.

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"I’m too scared. I had really bad postpartum depression after I had my son, and it frightened me," Adele told Vanity Fair.

Adele said she didn't take antidepressants, but found that spending time with other mothers and pregnant women was immensely helpful. She admitted, however, that it took her a while to talk to anyone about it.

"I didn’t talk to anyone about it. I was very reluctant. My boyfriend said I should talk to other women who were pregnant, and I said, 'Fuck that, I ain’t hanging around with a fuckin’ bunch of mothers,'" Adele said.

"I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life."

"Then, without realising it, I was gravitating towards pregnant women and other women with children, because I found they’re a bit more patient. You’ll be talking to someone, but you’re not really listening, because you’re so fuckin’ tired," the star continued.

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Postpartum -- or postnatal -- depression is a type of depression that affects many women after having a baby. Symptoms typically include feeling tearful, tired, unable to cope, guilty and hopeless about the future. While some people prefer not to seek medical help, treatments for the condition can include cognitive behavioural therapy or interpersonal therapy.

According tothe NHS, more than one in 10 women experience postpartum depression within a year of giving birth.

Adele said talking to friends who had kids was helpful because she knew they wouldn't judge.

"One day I said to a friend, ‘I fuckin’ hate this,’ and she just burst into tears and said, ‘I fuckin’ hate this, too.’ And it was done. It lifted. My knowledge of postpartum—or post-natal, as we call it in England—is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job," Adele told Vanity Fair. "But I was obsessedwith my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life. It [postpartum depression] can come in many different forms. Eventually I just said, I’m going to give myself an afternoon a week, just to do whatever the fuck I want without my baby," she continued. Adele also discussed the guilt she feels when she goes on tour and the pressure she feels as a working mum. "I’m enjoying touring, but at times I feel guilty because I’m doing this massive tour, and even though my son is with me all the time, on certain nights I can’t put him to bed. I never feel guilty when I’m not working. You’re constantly trying to make up for stuff when you’re a mom," she said.

The December issue of Vanity Fair hits newsstands in New York and Los Angeles on Thursday 3 November and and nationally on Tuesday 8 November.

If you want to talk to someone or are experiencing postpartum depression, contact Pandas Foundation (UK) on 01691 664275 or Postpartum Support International (U.S.) on 800.944.4PPD (4773).